Monday, September 19, 2016

Sandwich Generation

I’m not sure why they call it the sandwich generation.

The definition says that a person feels sandwiched between two different generations that require your attention.

This would be your parents on one side and your children on the other.

However, I consider a sandwich being nicely put together and comforted by both sides of the buns. At the moment this description does not fit into my frame of thinking.

I’m at a stage that I do not feel like a comforted sandwich, but completely pulled apart at all angles.

Each parent pulls at two separate limbs and children pull at your other two limbs, which is why I limited my life to only two children. I would be complete swiss cheese with holes everywhere, if I had more children.

Although I have not been able to stick to this philosophy with pets and keep the household always to 3 pets. I do not know why this happens. Two are cats, so they really do not have constant demands. Although attention and a belly rub is usually requested right when I sit down to work on the computer. The dog just stares at me and waits for the appropriate time to ask for a walk.

2 p.m. on the dot, every day.

After providing for parents, children and pets, what’s left in the middle of this sandwich is slowly pulled and prodded at by others.

This is where I have to politely say no thank you to any requests. Which is not easy for me. At all.

I guess you could say I do feel like a sandwich, but a pulled pork sandwich.

Add some hot peppers and you get heartburn.

But in my case just bouts of anxiety.

Anxiety is that feeling I wait to go away at night, just as I would sit and wait for heartburn to pass.

There is no reason for my anxiety and I can’t pinpoint the exact source, but it’s there, and will pass. You would think I would worry about important issues, such as the presidential election or climate change, but no, that takes a back burner.

One saying is to not sweat the small stuff, but that is not possible for me. All I can think of is the small stuff.

A friend posted a statement that says perhaps we worry about the small things because the big stuff is just too overwhelming.

There is also a feeling that perhaps I can solve the small stuff. As I think and worry about the small stuff, I am also working through solutions.

I am a mom, I have to try to fix things.

At first, the solutions do not appear. It takes a good night sleep to get an aha moment in the morning. And in my case, taking the time to talk out the worries, until an idea pops into my head.

The poor people around me, get a mouthful of worries. I’m not looking for a solution from others, but the process helps me process the problem and search in a new area for a solution.

It’s great to have a solution pop into your head, just by talking. People do not realize how helpful they really are, by not saying a word, but by listening alone.

My worries and continued searching for answers are the continued cooking and sweating of the middle of my sandwich.

So even though strategies appear at times, I can’t solve all the problems.

At least I know what I want to make for dinner tonight.

Pulled pork.

Sunday, March 9, 2014

Tackling Sewing

I can't believe it takes me a year before I can get back to my blog. Pretty sad. I've been consumed lately with a new hobby. I have not given up on knitting, but am attempting sewing.

Sewing seemed overwhelming at the beginning, but I actually might have the hang of it now. Perhaps. You would think I would be a natural, since my mom was a seamstress. She studied being a seamstress in Czechoslovakia and brought her skills to the U.S. at a young age. She wished to continue to make her own clothes and create outfits for her soon to be born child (that would be me). She saved up money received from her wedding and purchased a sewing machine. Luckily my dad went along with a sewing machine as a wedding gift. Fast forward 44 years later and she decided her sewing machine should be used a little more often. I was the lucky recipient of the sewing machine.

It is a great machine that works well. However, I sat there staring at the machine wondering what to do now. I knew the functions of the sewing machine, but did not know what to make. Luckily I had a friend that guided me through several projects, a belt, my favorite lounge pants and even a skirt. I still am not sure I can replicate any of these projects on my own. I took a further class to learn the details of sewing, this included starting from the beginning with a store bought pattern and using interfacing, lining, pockets and a zipper.

I found a new item I love to create and sew. Bags. I scroll through an abundance of blogs and admire all the bags created by others. Tote bags, drawstring bags and perhaps one day I'll attempt a duffle bag. My class walked me through a tote bag. I've tampered with sewing, I could do this.

First step, cut the pattern. Second step, attach the pattern to the fabric and cut the fabric. Simple, right. Wait, I need to cut the interfacing and lining as well. And don't forget the pockets. Great, done. Any sewing today. Nope, class is done. My heart sank that I never moved to the sewing machine.

The following week I could feel that the tote bag would be accomplished. I looked at the pattern instructions and knew I could move forward with piecing everything together. Nope, no idea. I guess I needed to iron on the interfacing to the pockets and the front and back of the bag. The big moment finally came, I can move to the sewing machine. I sewed the pockets on the bag. Anything else, no the class was over once again. I think I might spend a little too much time socializing because mind you these are 3 hour classes.

By the third class I was ready to tackle some more. Opened up the instructions of the pattern and still had no idea what they were talking about. I guess I found out these store bought patterns have never changed with the times. They are still the same instructions from the 50s, you would think I could grasp at least something.

My final challenge was the zipper. I learned a certain way from my friend that seemed simple enough. It was Anna Maria Horner's method from her book. As with any new hobby, I have to get some fun books to learn on my own first. I really have to remember that I learn from hands-on knowledge. The instructor for this class had a method for sewing zippers I will never ever ever use again. It might be best for the project, but my patience is limited. Once sewing over the zipper to make an end point. Take out your needle nose pliers and pick out each and every extra zipper prong. One by One. Ok, there might be only six, but I do not seem to have the strength to pull them out or even pulling without fraying the zipper.

After five determined classes, I finished the project. I present my first tote bag with pockets, interfacing, lining and a zipper.

During this adventure of sewing, I enjoyed searching through blogs for the multitude of projects made. The excitement came when I saw the crafty traveler's blog hop. A blog hop of my new favorite project, bags. Thank you to Ellison Lane on bringing these new projects up front.

Perhaps I will tackle a duffle bag now.

Friday, December 28, 2012

Santa brings a dog

O.K. Santa did not really bring a dog for Christmas, but he did leave a certificate for the family that entitles them to one Canus Lupus (not to be mistaken for a Lupus Lupus). If you don't want to look up the translation nor have seen "Fantastic Mr. Fox", that would be a dog and not a wolf.

This may come as a complete shock to those that know our family, since I have declared several times that I do not want a dog in the house. I have caved little by little as family members adopt new dogs and bring them over to visit. I couldn't say no when asked because that would be like saying, "Yes, you may stay the night, but your children are not welcome." I have also noticed that our last lonely cat is now King of the House and does not let the dogs mess with him. Last year I heard a dog and cat running in circles and was wondering why no one stopped the big labrador from chasing my cat. Little did I know it was the other way around and Clifford (named after Cliff Claven from Cheers) the cat was chasing the animal ten times his size.

I have also come to realize how much a family dog will be great for my children. Since I feel the benefits would outweigh the work, I have changed my mind. Yes, I do know that I will be the main person taking care of the new pet, but I have resigned myself to this position.

Now here comes the big dilemma. What dog will fit best into our family? We have taken the on-line surveys and Whippet comes up as a great choice. We want a medium size dog and not too furry. Perfect. However, I read they love to chase cats as prey. Clifford is still the King of the House, so that won't work. Plus we built (o.k. my husband built) a lovely squirrel house in the tree nearest to our house. Would they now fear for their lives. And of course I love adding more work to my day and am still planning on adding chickens this spring. Only four, so it will not be a large farm.

We decided the best way to find the best new friend to our home is word of mouth. So here is where we welcome any advice. Who is your best friend from the canus lupus species in your home and how did they come to stay with you?

Friday, December 30, 2011

Starting a New Career for a New Year Resolution

I have never been big on New Year Resolutions. When I am determined to accomplish something, I will take on the challenge any time of the year. I’m always looking at eating less and exercising more, so that is a constant resolution in my mind. Perhaps even an obsession. I wanted to go on a Yoga retreat with my childhood friend, so I decided to stretch myself and try Yoga this summer. I am so happy I accomplished that goal, but that is a whole other story. Now I have made another resolution in my life and since it happens to occur on the New Year, I am now signing up for a New Year Resolution.

I am changing my career for my New Year Resolution. I always said I want to write and I need to accomplish my last high school goal to write a book about my parents’ immigration to America. It would be amazing to go beyond the first chapter. However, I am also a realist and will always enjoy working for non-profit organizations, so I will continue to freelance with projects for non-profits. The other part of my time will be dedicated to my family and to my new resolution of writing. I have no control on how far writing will take me, but I’m willing to try. The beauty of turning 40 and starting new adventures is that I don’t mind going slowly and even failing along the way. I really don’t care as long as I give it my best and try. An example is my garden in my yard. Yes, there is in our yard a garden for him and a garden for her. My husband knows not to touch my garden, no matter how pathetic it may appear. The reason is that I wanted to try gardening and in the process I want to fail and learn from my mistakes. My garden may still never compare to his great design, but it doesn’t matter because it’s mine.

As I start a new adventure in my career life, I wasn’t sure how to define myself. A good person and friend asked me why I didn’t just call myself a writer because that is what I want to do. Beyond the obvious of not constantly publishing, I found my epiphany to go for it. So I will call myself a writer, and of course freelance coordinator of nonprofits on the side (the realist in me).

Now I hear the buzz of the dryer ringing, so I must pursue my other quest in taking care of my family because I feel compelled to provide clean underwear.

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Life of a Multi-Tasker

I tell everyone I know, and don’t know for that matter, that I hate multi tasking. However here is how my Sunday morning began.

Ahhh Quiet! Everyone is still asleep, so I think I will make myself a cup of coffee and enjoy the quiet before everyone awakes.

Grind the coffee; fill the pot with water; trip over the cat.

Oh sorry Clifford, we named him after Cliff Claven from "Cheers". Perhaps we’re dating ourselves.

Feed Clifford, change his water.

Now what was I doing. Oh yes, coffee. Turn the coffee maker on.

Hmmm, those bananas look like they are over ripe. I do have all the ingredients for banana bread.

Pull out some bowls, mix ingredients, mash bananas, and spill some ingredients on the floor. Hear the coffee brewing. I will concentrate and finish the banana bread. Into the oven.

I better clean this counter and sweep up the mess on the floor.

Go to the laundry room to find the broom. Why is the washing machine cover closed? Oh crap, I forgot the rags I washed last night in the wash machine. They should be fine with a hot dry cycle. Open the dryer. Of course, I forgot blankets in the dryer. Pull out the blankets. Fill the dryer with the rags. Perhaps I should start another load of laundry in the wash.

Now what was I doing again. I want to grab some coffee. Go back to the kitchen. Remember I wanted to sweep the floor. Concentrate on grabbing the broom and sweep the floor.

Go back to the kitchen for coffee. I should really wash those dishes first from banana bread making. It did start out clean today. Empty the drying rack, so I can refill it with new dishes. Wash the dishes. (Yes, I have a dishwasher, but for some reason I still don’t mind washing dishes from hand.)

O.k. I think I am all set. Everything is still quiet so I'll grab a cup of coffee and sit down for a nice relaxing Sunday morning.

The sound of a blanket sweeping the floor. “Good morning mommy, do you want to play a game?”

“Good morning princess. Yes, I will play a game. Just let me grab a cup of coffee please.”

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Lazy Athlete

I admit it. I’m a lazy athlete. Of course I use the term loosely since those two words should not be uttered in the same breath. And I’m not really an athlete.

I realized my laziness this morning as I tried to psych myself up to ride my bike to work. The weather is warming up a bit and I try my best to ride my bike spring and fall. As usual, I end up having many excuses (such as it’s too cold in the winter and too hot mid summer). I was actually disappointed it wasn’t raining. I know there are many people that ride year round and don’t use an excuse to not do something. Plus, it’s only four miles, so I need to stop my griping and hop on.

I do want to stay active and really need to find that one activity I like. I definitely do not like running (check out March 2010 blog - Running. Why oh why do I run?). Although as friends gear up for scheduled races, I’m beginning to think, maybe. But I try to remember that giving birth has the same effect (you forget how painful it really is). My kids do have a mile fun run coming up, so I’ll just train for that. Of course I will now have two children at the top of the hill screaming “Come on Mom, can’t you go faster!” (Once again – see blog on Running).

I have always stated that I do love hiking. However, I’m trying to realize if realistically I will enjoy it as I climb hills. Perhaps I’m really a flat level person. I might have to explore what that means. I did hike the Grand Canyon once for a week and camped at the bottom. I try to skip the part of the story where I was only 15. I might aim for that as a goal once again, although I do wonder how my knees will hold up. My husband just trekked down and up the canyon for a week, but my husband is not a lazy athlete. He actually ran the day before and the day after hiking the canyon. He’s prepping himself for a couple of races. I will show my support by cheering on the sidelines, once again thinking maybe.

I have never really been into sports. I played volleyball in school and even played Ultimate Frisbee as an adult, although I lacked many skills. I do enjoy my body step class in the gym. I think the music pumps me up and I can move at a good pace, if I get jiggy with it.

As for now, I will psych myself up for the bike ride home (which does have a slight incline). My motivation will be to not have to go to the gym after work and being able to raise a nice cold one to my semi active accomplishments of the day.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

An example of enjoying an aspect of your job



I had the privilege of joining educators from Minnesota and Wisconsin on a four day Environmental Project Based Learning Institute. Not being an educator myself I enjoy spending time and embracing the thoughts and expertise of teachers. Teachers encourage our children to explore their own thoughts and build upon the knowledge surrounding their everyday lives. As true educators themselves, those attending the four-day institute came to expand their own knowledge and add to the curriculum already taught in their own school. The Institute provides a resource to educators looking for strategies to incorporate the natural world into student projects and develop project based learning management skills. It was a time for all to become a student again and experience project based learning first hand. As the underlying theme expressed, the Institute allows for “No Teachers Left Inside.”

Hosted by Wildlands School, the Institute took place at the well-maintained Beaver Creek Reserve in Fall Creek, Wisconsin. The temperature dropped from the previous week to a pleasant 75° F. Although the humidity was kept at bay the mosquitoes were out in full force. However, everyone was well prepared with plenty of bug spray and good spirits. How could anyone resist a location where birdcalls welcomed guests to their home. One teacher was fortunate enough to have a bald eagle fly by the side of her car and direct her toward the reserve. A doe in the brush greeted another teacher as he set up camp.

The first afternoon entailed the technicalities and summary of the Institute. It was a time to introduce the instructors and familiarize attendees with project based learning and to find out specifically what they hoped to gain by the end of the four days. Some came knowing the meaning of project based learning and others hoped to understand the concept better and how to apply it with their students. Wildlands defines project learning as based on a constructivist model of learning that engages students in real-world scholarly activity. Students create meaning by designing and completing a project that ultimately benefits the community.

The middle school group jumped right into a project on Tuesday with the Great Lakes Worm Watch. After listening to an explanation of the project and gathering equipment needed, the groups divided into threes and headed outside for worm extraction. I was asked to close my eyes and put my finger on a map of the reserve. Agreeable or not, we headed off to the Savanna area based on my random map location. With bug spray in tow, we arrived a short distance to the well preserved Savanna area of the reserve. Each group dropped a wood frame (1/9 of a square meter) onto a lush duff area (a layer of decomposed leaves, needles, fine twigs, and other organic material found on the forest soil). Each group started the search for earthworms at this location. I did not participate in the actual extraction of earthworms, but watched as groups dug through the duff to find worms. To allow further worms to rise to the surface, groups poured a mixed solution of 1/3 mustard powder and a gallon of water in the wooden square. As the earthworms squirmed to the surface, forceps and fingers were on hand to put them into a container of isopropyl alcohol. By the time everyone arrived back at the lab, the worms would be ready for identification and study under a microscope. As worms were gathered, others used the GPS to gather longitude and latitude, and used the kestrel (a technical weather hawk) for recording of temperature. These results would be used for nature mapping to create a baseline for the location of worms. Since earthworms are not native to the Great Lakes region, this project is one of many educational projects available for students to learn first hand about the land around them and how it changes based on invasive species.

As the middle school group explored earthworms, the elementary group studied watersheds (an area of land where all of the water that is under it or drains off of it goes into the same place). All living things are linked to this common water source and obtaining water samples allows for a better understanding of the water source. The elementary group found the PH of the Eau Claire River (6.5 – acidic), turbidity (clarity – clear) and velocity (timed the floatation of a ping pong ball down the river). On the third day of the Institute the elementary group created a project to incorporate water sampling into their curriculum. One project is to create a field guide.

The Institute did not stop with only the 22 hours of learning during the day. Evening events took place every day as teachers participated in archery, bat monitoring and visiting the observatory. After dinner on the first evening everyone gathered to experience archery first hand. Fox River Academy brought their archery equipment and the lead teacher, certified to teach archery, guided everyone through the safety of archery. The feeling is incredible to place the arrow on the bow, pull back your arm (remember to keep your elbow up and use your shoulder) and watch as the arrow sails through the air and hits the bulls eye. O.K. in my case some arrows may have hit the board behind the target, but it was a great experience never the less. As dusk fell on the campsite, the gathering continued at the campfire. Not being a girl scout myself, I was a little hesitant in my ability to start the fire. Luckily others had more experience and gathered the twigs and placed one piece of paper under the twigs. “It will only take one match”, insisted one of the teachers. In my past camping experiences one match was never enough, but I was willing to try. I lit the match and was pleasantly surprised to find out that it did take only one match. As we stoked the fire, a whippoorwill called to us to announce its presence. The evening ended with everyone recounting his or her first teaching experience. The dedication of these teachers never ceases to amaze me.

The second night allowed for everyone to participate in hands on acoustic bat monitoring. Volunteers survey the bats and the ultrasound calls through a hand held system that records the bat calls. Combined with a global positioning system (GPS) and personal data assistant (PDA) volunteers capture bat calls in real time. The final night allowed for observation of the night sky at Hobbs observatory. Unfortunately, it was a little foggy, so we did not see any passing comets, but did glance at an amazing view of the moon. Each person took his or her turn at the telescope waiting for the clouds to pass and I wish I recorded the excitement in each person’s voice as the clouds slowly shifted and the moon came into view. The ‘wows’ echoed in the observatory. You can see here my view of the moon, as I was able to capture it through my camera. As I learned that night the telescope and digital camera are both afocal, allowing for images from the telescope to be recorded on a very simple digital camera.

The Environmental Project Based Learning Institute became more than a place to learn about projects for students. As I asked one high school teacher what brought him to the Institute, he responded that at first he only wanted to become familiar with Project Based Learning (PBL). However, he has changed his goal and would like to see how he can fit PBL into his high school as a whole. The key is to bring these ideas to the teachers not attending the institute, and find a way to incorporate PBL into the professional development and use different ways to evaluate students. The final outcome for him at the Institute was designing the course for a nine week Green class. The course will include for these students group work (such as rodent tracking), then teacher directed time on using GPS and service learning with a final individual directed project. Another middle school teacher was looking for further ways to use the resources that surrounds the school. The school has a school forest, water test kit, land fill and rock sites. The goal is to find projects to engage students in these resources. One school was also looking into community involvement with project-based learning. They want to provide students with service learning and a hands-on cross-curriculum learning style. Teachers walked away with a framework to infuse a small project and integrate it across curriculum.

The teachers that attended the Institute are not all teaching in charter schools. There were many teachers from schools searching for a chance to meet others and gather ideas to bring into their own classrooms. This is a primary goal of charter schools. Charter schools focus on the areas of critical thinking, creativity, and innovation, and serve as a “testing ground” for new curriculums and teacher methods. These methods are modified and developed into successful models that are then rolled out to non-charter public schools. This Institute served as a good example of three different charter schools (one elementary -Fox River Academy in Appleton, one middle school –River Crossing in Portage and one high school –Wildlands in Augusta) sharing their experience of project based learning and allowing other schools (charter and non-charter) to use these projects within their own school.

One main focus I took back from the Institute was that project based learning created a method of excitement and enthusiasm for the students. As Jeff Nania stated, a volunteer at River Crossing and retired Executive Director from Wisconsin Waterfowl Association, “There’s a rock skipping, frog catching heart inside very child. Teachers are the ones that make this come alive”. Students look for meaningfulness in science. They are not looking for busywork, but a place where what they do and learn makes a difference in their community. The Institute was a great experience because everyone wanted to be there and everyone wanted to learn.

Good Oak
There are two spiritual dangers in not owning a farm. One is the danger of supposing that breakfast comes from the grocery, and the other that heat comes from the furnace.
To avoid the first danger, one should plant a garden, preferably where there is no grocer to confuse the issue.
To avoid the second, he should lay a split of good oak on the andirons, preferably where there is no furnace, and let it warm his shins while a February blizzard tosses the trees outside. If one has cut, split, hauled, and piled his own good oak, and let his mind work the while, he will remember much about where the heat comes from, and with a wealth of detail denied to those who spend the week end in town astride a radiator.
Aldo Leopold, A Sand County Almanac


This is a favorite passage of students at River Crossing. One reason is mainly that a lot of their projects encompass this chapter. As the lead teacher of the school states, “the students write their autobiography in reverse chronological order, like they were cutting through the rings of the tree.” Another reason is that they learn about the tree anatomy and the types of tissue, and experience first hand cutting and splitting of their own good oak. Not only do these students learn the environmental history of Wisconsin, but embrace the land ethic as described so clearly by Aldo Leopold in the Sand County Almanac. “The land ethic simply enlarges the boundaries of the community to include soils, waters, plants, and animals, or collectively: the land.” “In short, a land ethic changes the role of Homo sapiens from conqueror of the land-community to plain member and citizen of it. It implies respect for his fellow-members, and also respect for the community as such.” As Leopold would put it, these students are “Thinking Like a Mountain”. The students are learning first hand their role in nature and their responsibilities to respect the natural involvement of land.

Educators at the Institute had the pleasure to meet and listen to Marybeth Lorbiecki, author of “Aldo Leopold – A fierce green fire”. This biography tells the life story of Aldo Leopold and his story on the conservation of land use. The environmental projects that students engage allow the students to learn first hand about nature and themselves conserve the land. Another author, Greg Summers, spoke at the Institute not on “Thinking Like a Mountain” as Leopold would state, but “Thinking Like a Home Owner”. Summers uses the house as a metaphor. He wants people to consider nature in terms of a home, by going room to room and finding the connection of the resources brought into the home and where they originate. The goal is for homeowners to recognize what resources are used for the heating of their house, water coming from the faucet and electricity running their appliances. As homeowners recognize these resources as the comfort of nature, they can begin to help sustain these resources.

As described in the evening activities and speakers, the Environmental Project Based Learning Institute provided so much more than projects for teachers to bring into their classrooms. It provided a network of resources to everyone that will continue to grow. It brought a better understanding on how to incorporate the natural world not only into the student projects, but also across the curriculum and to the school as a whole. A teacher also mentioned once that project-based learning is based on relationships; the relationship between the teacher and student; the relationship between the student and parent; and the relationship between the teacher and parent. Environmental project based learning takes it a step further with the relationship of all these people and nature.